Baby Stuff Mountain

Welcome to Baby Stuff Mountain.

When your dad and I set out to create your baby registry and buy things for your arrival, we committed to keep all the stuff to a minimum. I have long maintained the theory that part of why American parents are so stressed out all the time is because their kids come equipped with too much stuff. Of course it would be impossible to get out the door on time when you have to pack not one but two diaper bags, set up not just the stroller but the whole travel system complete with an attached car seat, changing pads, extra bottles, extra clothes, plenty of toys, a first aid kit, a moby wrap, and if you’re really on top of everything, the baby. To us, it seemed like the best solution to cut down on the stress is to keep the toys and the clothes and the gadgets and the gear to a minimum, for our sanity, and by continuation yours.

Well, I have eaten my own words for the first of what I’m sure will be many more times as I venture into motherhood. The above picture depicts a mere fraction of the stuff we have accumulated for your arrival. Not shown above is any of your furniture, your stroller, your bouncy seat, your humidifier, your cradle, or your blankets.

You have too much stuff for someone who has yet to contribute to society in any meaningful way whatsoever.

This particular pile of your stuff is beginning to gradually take its toll on me emotionally. We move into our new place next weekend, and so as of right now our apartment is in a state of being half-packed, half-unpacked, and full of junk that we don’t want but haven’t figured out how to unload yet. This Baby Stuff Mountain has been gradually growing each week, and each time I look at it I’m reminded that we still have to move, we still have to set up your nursery, and we still have to find the time to buy the rest of your stuff (yes, there is more stuff that you apparently must have in order to survive your first few weeks on Earth).

I went to the doctor yesterday and he said that you’re nowhere near your exodus at this time. That’s good, since you’re only about 36 weeks along and need some more time to cook. And we need more time to prepare (see above).

Lately your new thing is to deliberately sit your little baby bottom on this particular nerve ending in my back when I’m sleeping , which sends me into a veritable tailspin of pain and suffering at 2:00 each morning. The only way I can alleviate the pain is if I stand up for long periods of time and physically move you to the other side of my body, which is kind of problematic because at 2:00 in the morning I prefer to be lying down like most rational people. I’m getting the distinct impression that you are nocturnal and don’t understand the long accepted practice of sleeping at night and playing/sitting on other people’s back nerves during the day. Don’t worry though, the last time you jolted me awake it also woke your dad up, and I convinced him to give me a 45 minute backrub until I fell back asleep. He was pretty tired that next morning and I think a little resentful of both of us.

This weekend we will continue to pack up the rest of our things and hopefully gather more stuff that we need before your due date. We only have about four more weekends. It boggles the mind. Truly.